Framework#
Charm is composed of framework and energy.
The process of interpersonal communication is the process of testing each other's framework, such as the politeness and courtesy of the first meeting.
The framework is what you like, what you don't like, and what your bottom line is. These can be timely conveyed to others without letting others violate your bottom line.
Energy#
The most important component of energy is strength.
"A victorious army first wins and then seeks battle, while a defeated army first battles and then seeks victory."
Victory or defeat is only the result, and the prerequisite is the cause. The outcome of victory or defeat has already been determined before the battle. The battlefield only presents this result.
"Those who are good at war have no famous wisdom or bravery." Later annotations say, "Those who are good at war have no glorious achievements, and those who are good at medicine have no glorious reputation." A true warrior is not famous because his victory is normal. Famous people are those who turn the tide, but they are not true warriors. Similarly, those who truly master medical skills can prevent problems before they occur and are not famous.
Strength#
"Inferiority and arrogance are twin brothers, and self-confidence is supported by strength."
- Society admires the strong.
The silence of the strong is wise, and the talkativeness of the strong is approachable. On the contrary, the silence of the weak is low emotional intelligence and poor communication skills, and the talkativeness of the weak does not get to the point. How others perceive you depends on how they perceive your strength.
- In the face of absolute strength, so-called skills and means are useless.
For example, when most people complain about not being able to find a partner, a few people have so many choices.
The above two points explain well the Pareto principle and the Matthew effect that commonly exist in the world. This is something we as individuals cannot change. What we can do is how to play the game of life well under the premise of understanding the rules.
How to Improve Strength#
The most direct way to enhance personal charm is to improve personal strength, which can be further divided into: value + scarcity
Before thinking about how to improve, you need to find your own track.
Find Your Track#
The search for a track requires both advantages and interests, that is, what you are good at + what you like.
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Advantages: Do it quickly and well, effortlessly, and receive praise.
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Interests: Personally interested in it. For example, does playing games require persistence?
Clarify Value#
There is no absolute value, only relative value. Many values are only useful in specific places. For example, a skiing champion has no value in a company, but is eye-catching in the Winter Olympics. (Note: This assumes simple conditions)
We need to discover the value that others need from us.
Explore Scarcity#
There are many valuable things in the world, such as sunlight, air, and water, but they are not rare, so they have no price. For example, farming and working on construction sites are valuable activities, but because the threshold is low, the wages are not high.
Do not expect nostalgia in employment relationships. Just like changing phones, economic usability is the truth. Therefore, do not rely on others, only improve yourself.
To build your own scarcity, you can consider the following five aspects:
Information
In this age of information overload, collecting and organizing high-quality information itself is an ability. Since ancient times, information asymmetry has been used to make money. For example, my friend Axu, I think my search ability is also good.
Knowledge
Knowledge requires long-term accumulation. Only through quantitative changes can qualitative changes occur, forming a systematic understanding. Only with a systematic understanding of knowledge can interdisciplinary understanding be formed.
Ability
Knowledge is acquired through listening, seeing, and learning, while abilities are developed through practice. The popularity of computers is largely because knowledge of mathematics, physics, and chemistry can be efficiently converted into employment capabilities. Similarly, it is difficult for literary and historical knowledge to be converted into abilities, so it is difficult to find employment in that field.
The essence of making money is having the ability to solve other people's problems and needs, and others exchange money for it. Therefore, learn to convert the knowledge you have learned into the abilities needed in society.
Cognition
Cognition refers to high-dimensional thinking. Empathy, thinking beyond the present, thinking about the overall situation, and reverse planning from future goals to present actions. Stand in the present time dimension and predict future trends and opportunities.
All of the above are different types of cognition. The method to improve cognition is to interact with experts, especially those in the same field.
Resources
Business resources: suppliers, channels, customers.
Personal resources: money, connections, and cultivation or topics for conversation.
Connections are not just contacts of many successful people in WeChat. The standard for judging connections is whether you can help them.
Besides Strength#
Authenticity#
Authentic things are always powerful. Taking the short video track as an example, in this market that is approaching saturation, what often goes viral on the Internet is something authentic, such as "retreat, retreat, retreat." Similarly, why do people like to watch street fights? It's because they are real.
Authenticity is simple, but many people cannot achieve it.
Whether successful or not, being a genuine and sincere person is always worthy of oneself.
Divinity and Beastliness#
Human nature is something between divinity and beastliness.
Divinity refers to where we are going, our goals, visions, and missions.
When we have a firm goal, we will have confidence. I may not be outstanding now, but it doesn't mean I won't be outstanding in the future. Don't underestimate young people just because they are poor. Have this mentality, fear no one, and fear no challenges.
Beastliness refers to where we come from.
Babies fall with every step they take, and they will walk eventually. When lions hunt, they think about what will happen if they don't catch their prey. If they can't catch it, they can catch the next one. Have simple beastly wisdom, don't think too much, be a giant in thought, and be a fool in action.
When you think a lot, you will have many problems. When you take action, you will get all the answers, even if they are wrong answers, they are valuable experience.
Home Field#
The home field can bring us energy, that is, home field advantage. Clarify your own home field and make good use of it.